BackAcne Baseball

From: I to the C, GM Back Acne Baseball Club
Sent: Wednesday, 27 May 2010; 10:33PM
To: Jerry Doe, Owner and CEO Back Acne Baseball Club
Subject: RE: Final Team Roster



Jerry,
Per your instructions, I've developed a 'no lose' line up for our new baseball team, the Back Acnes. I'm happy to announce that our entire team is comprised of proven players that have been named in the Mitchell Report so we're guaranteed nothing but success when we take the field. Below is the roster for your review:

Starting Line up

SS Miguel Tejada

3B Matt Williams

RF Gary Sheffield

LF Barry Bonds

DH Jose Canseco

CF Lenny Dykstra

1B Jason Giambi

2B Fernando Vina

C Benito Santiago

Bench

IF Chuck Knoblauch

OF David Justice

IF/OF Jerry Hairston, Jr.

Starting Rotation

Roger Clemens

Kevin Brown

Denny Neagel

Mark Lansing

Hal Morris

Relief Pitchers

Mike Stanton

John Rocker

Paul Byrd

Jason Grimsley

Ryan Franklin

Eric Gagne

I know what you're thinking. Where's the speed? Let me assure you, we make it up in sheer power and overall mood swings. It is by far one of the greatest teams ever assembled and we can count on hoisting the trophy at the end of the year. Keep in mind that by taking steroids, these players have forfeited the right not to be ragged on relentlessly. (It's understandable since half these players don't really have necks.) But man, what an unbeatable team! I'm thinking 162-0 for the season. Any questions, please let me know.

Thanks,
I to the C.

Oh, can you please let me know which country we'll be playing in. (I'll need to provide a proper mailing address for the BALCO company.) Please keep in mind that we won't be able to play in the US due to their rules...

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From: Jerry Doe, Owner and CEO Back Acne Baseball Club
Sent: Wednesday, 27 May 2010; 2:01PM
To: I to the C, GM Back Acne Baseball Club
Subject: Final Team Roster
Send me your final roster NOW.
Regards,
Jerry