The 5 Worst ST:TNG Guest Appearances

We here at This is Why You Fail hold a few sacred and self-evident truths. Among them is this simple, undeniable fact: Star Trek: The Next Generation is the best series of all Star-prefixed shows, whether it be Wars, Gate, Search, or even its own Trek brethren. Through it's seven year mission, TNG has had some interesting guess appearances by then upcoming and established actors. Sometimes though, their performances are so poor, or presence so jarring, or characters so lame, it would have been for the best if they hadn't boldly gone where no one had gone before..



Kirsten Dunst as Hedril

Kirsten Dunst played a little girl with empathic abilities, but looked like one who'd just had a lobotomy (Get it? HEAD-ril?) that befriends Counselor Troi's mother Lwaxana. She eventually triggers Lwanxana to have visions of a mysterious girl who seems to appear for the sole purpose of running away in terror from the beastly-looking woman. With Deanna's help, mother reveals to daughter that - wait for it - Deanna had a older sister that looked just like Kirsten Dunst, and she got her ass drowned in a wading pool when Deanna was just a baby! Ms. Dunst sucked blood in An Interview With a Vampire, here she just plains sucks.


James Worthy as Koral

What the fuck is a basketball player doing in my Trek episode, and as Klingon no less? They should stay where they belong, playing bewildered pilots in airplane movie spoofs. Or better yet, stay on the basketball court playing against cartoon characters... in space.






Teri Hatcher as Lieutenant Robinson

Perhaps it was just unfortunate casting that the future Mrs. Superman played a dim-witted transporter chief, that gets seduced by the guy who played the Rocketeer. A description of the character directly from the script, from http://memory-alpha.org/ :
"the very feminine and graciously endowed Transporter Commander B.G. Robinson. Everything she has two of are perfectly matched, coordinated, and move with a wonderful grace that is called 'woman.' "
So it's safe to assume any woman with a set of Ta-Tas could have landed this thankless role. Quite literally too, she didn't even appear in the credits.



Stephen Hawking as himself

Dr. Stephen Hawking, one of the greatest minds in modern physics, played a holodeck recreation of himself in the "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!" two-parter. In a pretty fun scene, Data plays a hand of poker with Hawking, Albert Einstein and Mark Twain. Hawking wins and flips down his winning hand with a little mechanical arm that he probably stole from R2-D2. So why is this on the list?
Simple, TNG is set in the 24th century, four hundred years after Hawking's guest spot on The Simpsons. The Simpsons episode where Stephen Hawking get's all Inspector Gadget on Springfield's collective ass. So why the HELL didn't Data use the awesome power of holograms to recreate a bad-ass Stephen Hawking who talked tons of shit and was backed up with a helicopter wheelchair and a spring-loaded boxing glove?
Because he's just a stupid machine, and he'll never EVER be human. Fuck you, Data.

And the absolute worst:

Paul Sorvino as Dr. Nikolai Rozhenko

How did the talented and respected actor Paul Sorvino find himself in the ridiculous role of Worf's delinquent human foster brother? Who brings dishonor to the house of Rozhenko by adopting a Moses complex and leading his people out of the desert... into the Enterprise's spacious holodeck. Surely he'd know such a stupid scheme was doomed to fail, only for Star Trek admiralty to try it again in Star Trek: Insurrection? So in my logic, Paul Sorvino was directly responsible for that complete waste of a film.
Paul, THIS IS WHY YOU FAIL.