Any Given Sunday in 25 words...

Rooney goes down. Beaman steps up. I'm gonna be pickin' peanuts outcha ass! Beaman's cocky. You a king in your own mind bitch. Beaman's humbled.

Missoura? Lax Gun Laws?

Ask and you shall receive. (Refer to 21 June posting entitled "Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!!!")

For all you TWYFer's, let me begin by saying that I've been a nomad since the age of 18; between the years of 26-28 I resided in the great state of Missouri. It was a great place to live. Oddly enough, Missouri is a place where all of our childhood dreams can come true.

How? A contributing member of TWYF can attest to the rock bottom pricing for cigarettes, in fact if I remember correctly, he came home with a few cartons taped to his chest to escape airport detection. Another contributor gambled himself silly in one of many St Louis casinos, once telling the dealer he wanted to hit on 21. I nearly (if not for the whole being married thing) purchased an military grade M-16 rifle and a World War II M1 rifle in the same week.

How about an 'merican built pick up truck? Everyone in Missouri has one. You're probably now asking, "well... If I buy a truck, then I surely won't have the money to buy an assault rifle too." My friends, don't fret! Roll the tape:

Oh Missouri. How I miss thee...

Al Pacino's Craziest Rants

Al Pacino is widely regarded as on of the most gifted actors of his generation, with accolades too numerous to name here. It's also widely agreed that sometime after the first two Godfathers and Dog Day Afternoon that he completely lost his shit. For some reason, Al Pacino stopped playing his characters and just played Al Pacino. Gone were subtlety and nuance, and a scenery chewing, overly emoting, rant raving (albeit awesome and highly entertaining) lunatic was born. Here are some of his finest moments.

Jaws in 25 words...

Naked swimmer gets eaten. Chief discovers: Shark Attack! Shark kills more people. Quint tries to kill the shark. Shark kills Quint. Chief blows up shark.

Greatest Mass Transit Fights Captured on YouTube

For me, there is nothing more entertaining than a good ol' fashioned street fight (so long as I'm not involved in one, which assuredly I would be on the losing end). The only drawbacks of the old knockdown drag out in the streets is thus:

A) It's usually surrounded by a bunch of rowdy gawkers, so actually getting a good view can be difficult.
B) They're usually in constant motion, the *ahem* pugilists are always dancing around with the aforementioned crowd adapting around them, which makes tracking the combatants tricky.
C) They're over in a blink of an eye.

So how do you improve the street fight? Why, move it to a venue oft compared to an inescapable metal tube of course! Where better to prize fight than a public bus or subway? Front row seats for all spectators! Narrow walkways to allow face-to-face bouts! And sealed doors to encourage immediate rematches! Hooray!

It is with great pleasure that I present the three Greatest Mass Transit Fights ever, courtesy of YouTube!

(Que Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful Wold)

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!!!

So I've come to the realization that we here at TIWYF and our core audience (shout out to THORNER!) are all pushing thirty years of age, and thus, rapidly reaching a milestone in our emotionally under-developed lives.

As I celebrated my 29th b-day alone in the dark with one hand cradling a giant bottle of Jack (shout out to MAKU!), the other hand ashing a smoke (shout out to I TO THE C!), and my lips wrapped around the barrel of a .38 revolver (shout out to Missoura's lax gun laws!), I had an epiphany of sorts.

Our blog must change, as we have changed! But how you ask? Will it evolve to cover more topical and mature subject matter? Will we, as contributors offer more honesty and insight within our posts? Will even a single post be relevant anyone's interests outside our own? Well, I feel comfortable speaking for my fellow contributors when I say this:

HELL NO!

So how has the blog changed? Bigger fonts for your old-man eyes to read! More graphics to recapture your dwindling attention span! A slightly modified format courtesy of some guy named Josh Peterson!

So pardon our dust while we continue to tweak our appearance...

Super Heroes Unite

Simple questions. We've all pondered this in the past (or current).

1) What super human power would you want most?
2) What would your super-hero (villain) name be?


Me?

1) First, I would like the super human power of teleportation. It would be incredible to witness history unfolding before my eyes perhaps using this power for the benefit of mankind. I'd also like to match this power with invisibility. This attribute would have no bearing to the benefit of mankind, I just want to be able to look at naked attractive women undetected.

2) Captain Chewy the Defender.

You?

Top 10 Batman: The Animated Series Episodes

1) Perchance to Dream

2) Almost Got 'Em

3) Joker's Favor

4) The Demon's Quest Pt. 1 & 2

5) Night of the Ninja/ Day of the Samurai

6) The Laughing Fish

7) Trial

8) His Silicon Soul

9) Over the Edge

10) Pretty Poison

Justified Sense of Entitlement?

As a Yankee fan living away from New York City, I always get harassed for every single thing the Yankees do. I know that this is a matter of ignorance and take it on the chin most times but understandably, I need to rant about this from time to time. This latest round is about the New Yankee Stadium and it's horrible food choices. As baseball fans, when have we become entitled to gourmet food at a baseball stadium? When did the standard hot dog or Italian sausage simply become not enough for us?

I enjoy good food as much as the next person but I also know when and where to enjoy good food. Let's not forget why we go to baseball games. To enjoy 9 innings of baseball or for a great meal? The cost of your ticket entitles you to your seat, that's it. You choose what you want to buy for consumption. (Or bring your own...) Shouldn't the venue of your baseball experience be judge primarily on the quality of how the game is played, the view from your seat, or the overall atmosphere of the home town fans? On a secondary perspective, anything beyond typical ballpark fare is bonus and if you're complaining for more choices and it's quality, then ask yourself are you really a true fan of baseball. I know in order to get full revenue from every demographic of spectators, you have to comply to everybody's whims but let me reiterate, this is a baseball stadium!!! If they have your something for your palette, great. If not, allow yourself to be 13 again for a day and get a hot dog!

I'll admit, throughout the zillions of baseball games I've attended, I've become the snob of the field level. Rather than getting doomed to the upper deck, I'd rather wander the lower level and stand closer to the game watching for 9 innings. However, I'll never complain about ballpark food, because it is what it is. Hot dogs, peanuts, fries, Cracker Jacks, domestic swill seltzer water beer, ice cream, maybe a regional specialty. If I find some other delectable treats such as an over-sized turkey leg at Busch Stadium or Rocky Mountain Oysters at Coors Field, score!

What are your thoughts about this?

American Psycho in 25 words...

80's New York. Patrick Bateman details what he uses in the shower. Paul Allen. Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Patrick kills everything.

Transformers the Movie in 25 words...

Rocking title sequence. Autobots die in shuttle. Optimus kicks butt. Optimus dies. Unicron makes Megatron into Galvatron. Autobots dance to Weird Al. Unicron blows up.

Top 5 comic book artists working today.

5) Andy Kubert

4) Gary Frank

3) J.H. Williams III

2) Frank Quitely

About Damn Time...

Patrick Stewart was knighted on Wednesday. Sir Captain Picard joins the esteemed ranks of Paul McCartney, Sean Connery, Ian McKellen and Judi Dench. Some highlights from his glorious career after the jump...

Addendum: Shockwave is Coolest

I knew he had Prime envy.

The Rock in 25 words.

Hummel gets the Rockets. Stanley Goodspeed. Hummel takes Alcatraz. They need Mason. Car chase through San Francisco. The seal team dies.  Mason kicks ass. Microfilm.